New Year's Catsolutions
Many cat owners see their precious pussycats as flawless felines. A more objective view reveals some deviousness. We could all improve ourselves in various ways, and that includes cats.
Zoe is a huntress. She patrols the area around my home and frequently leaves mice (or parts of them) on my porch. Although mice can be destructive, I explained to her that teasing and playing with them wasn’t necessary before ending their lives. It also seems a bit cruel to put their headless bodies — or body-less heads — on display.
She acquiesced and promised to let the rodents live. That lasted about two days.
Resolution #1 — Stop killing mice
Result: Failed ❎
Zak is an overgroomer. Yes, all cats groom themselves, but Zak even grooms me. He licks my nose and face, my hand, my arm… He also grooms Zoe. If she’s asleep, she won’t put up much of a fight. At other times, she becomes annoyed, and a catfight begins.
Zak is also a playful cat, sometimes chasing and swatting at Zoe. She doesn’t appreciate his playfulness. She growls and hisses, but to him, it’s part of the game. She often changes napping locations or goes outside to escape him.
He isn’t deterred. He follows her like that little yapping dog follows Spike in the Looney Tunes cartoons.
Resolution #2 — Be less annoying
Result: Failed ❎
My cats wake me up early, but it’s even earlier than usual when Daylight Saving Time begins. No human should rise before the sun does. Before nine a.m. is grumpy time for me. Since I work from home on my own schedule, there’s no reason to get up.
My cats don’t understand this, nor do they care. I could try to ignore them, teaching them that they don’t need their breakfast so early. However, Zak has a loud, whiny meow that I can’t sleep through.
My cat whispering abilities afforded me one morning of sleeping in late. They returned to their routine the next day.
Resolution #3 — Sleep in later
Result: Failed ❎
The resolutions weren’t going well, so we stopped at three. Cats aren’t keen on changing their routines and behaviors. Is anyone surprised by this?
If you try forcing your cat to turn over a new leaf, they’ll only swat at it. They’re no better at keeping resolutions than humans.
MY resolution: Stop making resolutions for my cats.
Result: Passed ✅
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